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Friday, September 11, 2015

Review | Bath and Body Works' London Candle


     "Let's just step into Bath and Body works," I say cautiously, hoisting my three other bags higher onto my shoulder. "I just want to see what candles are in."

     My best friend from college looks down at me doubtfully, but agrees to go inside. I walk to the back confidently, eyes searching for that beautiful candle wall, but as I near the registers, I fail to see any. I spot a candle on one of the display tables and sniff it, trying to conceal my disappointment.


    It doesn't work. "Oh, honey," a tanned woman cooes, walking up to me, "the candles have moved next door...have you been there yet?"


    Shit.





That's how it began. A half an hour later, the two of us triumphantly marched out of the store, carrying an extra bag that we did not have before and multiple coupons for future visits. I had grabbed two wonderful-smelling fall candles (one of which, Sweater Weather, I am already unashamedly halfway through, despite it still being early September and ridiculously hot outside. I digress), and the third one, after much debate, ended up being their signature London candle.


Hence the blog post. 


Okay, ready?





...I hate it.




Mm well that's a tad strong. I do not enjoy the scent. Why did you buy it, Margaret? you ask. Well, do you know me? I respond. Let's move on.


The candle is beautiful, with some of the signature London skyline-esque pictures on the front. Ben, the Tower, the Eye, etc. The scent is tea and lemon--which to my nose, comes out all lemon and no tea. But you know damn well that I'm going to burn that thing down to the depths in order to use that jar. Just you wait.


So why are you reviewing this if you did not like it Margaret? you ask. Well I'm about to get real deep real quickly, so turn away if you dislike such things.


The reason I bought this, the reason that I'm burning this out of spite, the reason that I'm writing a whole damn blog post about it is that this candle smells nothing like London. And I am personally offended.


I mean, seriously. It is a cute idea, I love it, but smelling it just makes me yearn for something that smells closer to the scent of London, like-




what about the musty book scent of Daunt Books? The damp after a rain shower in Regent's Park? The Christmas spice of mulled wine in a booming pub? The freshness of Soap and Glory shampoo? The caramel coffee that I bought every morning at the brasserie? The muskiness of the Tube at rush hour? The beer that we drank at the Once production? The cinnamon buns at Nordic Bakery that my literature professor showed me? The flowery scent of the hair mask at LUSH that I dumped all over myself in front of Kat? The steam of my afternoon tea at Ham House? The hot chocolate at the Bakerloo Tube station? The old stone in the White Tower? My rose-scented Bourjois blush? The pad thai at Borough Market? Pam's mouthwash across from me at breakfast every morning? The dust at Westminster Abbey? Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland? The close stillness of the V&A? Matt Smith (I'm sorry we awkwardly hugged for so long, but I really don't regret it okbye)? The horrid fake blood during the production of Our Ajax at Southwark Theatre? The two cigarettes that Andy and I bummed off of people? The butterscotch Butterbeer at the Harry Potter studios? The old wood of the stage at the Globe? Roasted cashews off the Millennium Bridge? The Teapigs tea that I brewed while I sat on the edge of my bed and listened to the performance of the Sound of Music from the park?






What about all those scents?





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